Fat Broke

So apparently, it's not enough that women earn less (about 77% of a man's salary), we also make even less if we're heavier. According to new research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, skinny women earn an average of $16,000 more a year than their average-size counterparts. For men, being muscular was more important than being skinny. Skinny men earn around $8,000 less than their fit coworkers. It's sad that our societal ideals have been carried to such a subconscious extreme. Thin women and muscle men are literally given more due simply for their physique. I guess bosses see two candidates to promote, both with equally impressive track records, and then look at the person and on some level think -- "This girl is thin and pretty, she must be more successful, more put-together, more in control. She looks like a winner, so she will be." Kinda puts a new spin on "dress for success." Now we have to eat for success too. Of course it's good to be healthy, and on one hand maybe this could be a powerful motivator for people to get in shape -- you could make more money. But we also don't want people developing eating disorders to earn promotions either. Maybe if larger women were making more money they could afford to work less and go to the gym more, or pay for a personal trainer, or buy healthier foods.

10 Ways to Green Your Children

Growing babies in our raised-bed garden.

As I read Reproduce, Recycle, Reuse on Slate, I couldn't help thinking that greening your baby is easy. It's not so different from greening yourself -- buying used or borrowing (unless its unsafe), using less, figuring out what you can live without -- to me, the real question is how to green your older children. The best gift you can give to the planet -- and your child - is to teach them to be environmentally friendly. Green babies are easy*: cloth diapers, hand-me-down clothes, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, borrowed gear, nursery decor that will last longer than two years. It gets trickier as they get older. I am trying my best to teach my son environmental awareness. I was so happy when my he exclaimed "No mommy! Don't flush - it's just pee-pee!" That's right, we practice the yellow=mellow.

Here are some easy ways to teach your kids environmental stewardship:
1. Be green yourself. Live by example.
2. Enjoy the outdoors: frequent parks, playgrounds, nature centers. Stargaze, picnic, fly a kite -- whatever. These things strengthen your family and show the value of nature (and they're free).
3. Promote no-power toys. They save money, promote creativity, and are less annoying to adults.
4. Serve good food. Cook from scratch using local, whole foods as much as possible. Try to limit single-serving food items, which is particularly hard with kids.
5. Start your own garden; whether its a few containers on your deck, some herbs in your window, or a large plot in your yard -- it's important to teach kids where their food comes from.
6. Prioritize experiences over things. This is also a great way to create family traditions: going to the pumpkin patch every year, the library every Wednesday, the children's museum every month.
7. Teach your kids how to use money wisely.
8. Set clear rules about cell phones and social media - at what age they are allowed, how many minutes of use are appropriate, etc. -- thereby promoting in-person relationships.
9. Give together. Get your kids involved in donating their used things to charity, volunteering with you at a community garden, or shopping for the local food pantry.
10. Keep your kids commercial-free as long as possible.

*The most environmentally friendly baby is an adopted one in my opinion. It's the only way to have a child without increasing the need for the earth's resources.

Why All the Birthing Guilt?

My son, 1 day old.

Call me new-fashioned, but I'll have my babies in the hospital thank you. Yes, it surprised many of my friends that I wouldn't be pursuing a homebirth, but I wanted to know that there were doctors and nurses available at a moment's notice should anything go horribly wrong. Ok, so this isn't very "hippie" of me. Crunchy granola be damned - I'll take the nurses please.
I didn't plan on having an epidural, but I also didn't rule it out. I waited many many hours. I tried to go natural. But it was going so slowly that at a certain point I couldn't take it anymore.
So my birth story didn't go exactly how I envisioned. Did I let that weigh me down as a new mom? Did I feel horrible and guilty that I didn't give my son the best possible start to life? Surprisingly, no. I had plenty of other things to worry about. I was thankful I didn't have a C-section.
But the sad thing is many new moms do let an birth story with unplanned interventions make them feel like a failure, sometimes even leading postpartum depression. Why? Did they truly have that much control over it? Not that you let medical practitioners do what they please to you, just that at a certain point you have to accept that your body can do only as much as it can do. Your body can't control if you have a placental abruption, or if your baby is sunnyside-up, or if their shoulders get stuck, or they swallow meconium and have to be rushed to intensive care, or myriad other complications that most birthing classes can't possible prepare you for. These are the things that scared me into the hospital. Would I have had a safe homebirth? Probably. I didn't really want to find out.
It's great that people are beginning to lash back against needless interventions in favor of homebirth. If that's what you want, great. The rising number of C-sections is pretty terrifying to be sure - counted at 32.9 percent of all births in 2009.

"C-sections are now at an all time high. Nearly one in three babies were delivered via cesarean in 2009. Since 1996, the C-section rate has increased nearly 60%." - CNN Health, Dec. 21, 2010. Reporting information from the CDC's "Births: Preliminary Data for 2009" (pdf).

The women who really should be feeling guilty - the ones who chose to have a planned c-section out of convenience, or who asked for drugs the second their feet passed the hospital door - are the ones who don't feel guilty. The women who try so hard for a natural birth should be proud that at least they tried, that they educated themselves and were their own best advocate in the process.
So much emphasis is placed on birth. Yes it is awesome and spectacular and draining and all-consuming and incomparable. But it's just the beginning. I feel that I would have been far better served by taking a parenting class than a birthing class. Birth is just one (or two) days - parenting is forever.
Women need to stop envisioning perfectly natural, blissful births. Yes these are possible, something to strive for, but not something to feel guilty about not achieving. Generally the truth is much messier and entirely more unpredictable. Save your guilt and shame for choosing not to breastfeed.

Or Does Formula Make You Stupid?

A study published in the January issue of Pediatrics finally confirms what many have long suspected, but other studies have had trouble proving (given all the confounding factors): that is, that babies breastfed for for at least six months turn out smarter than their formula-fed counterparts. The Australian study looked at the test results of 1038 children in mathematics, reading, writing, and spelling at age 10. Associations between breastfeeding duration and educational outcomes were adjusted for gender, family income, maternal factors, and early stimulation at home (through reading).

"Predominant breastfeeding for 6 months or longer was associated with significantly higher scores for mathematics, reading, and spelling in 10-year-old children when adjusted for the sociodemographic characteristics of the mother and family and early stimulation of the child. However, significant interaction effects were shown between gender and breastfeeding. ... Our results suggest that breastfeeding duration is independently associated with better educational outcomes in middle childhood, especially for boys."

For us extended breastfeeding enthusiasts, this is simply further proof that our instincts are right. As the parent of a boy, I am especially glad that I breastfed for two and a half years. For anyone wondering if breastfeeding is worth it, maybe this could be the tipping point. There are enough reasons to choose breastfeeding - less risk of obesity and cancers for mom and baby for starters - which one will convince you?