The slow packing on of pounds

A new Harvard study focuses on small diet and lifestyle changes that make a big difference to weight gain over the years: http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/weight-gain-caused-by-small-habits

Doing the best you can with what you have

In an effort to make friends and find things to fill my long stay-home days, I joined a local  online parents forum. After spending some time on the various boards and debating whether or not to attend their events, I realized that simply being a parent is not really enough in common. So I joined the natural and attachment-parenting forum, and confidently headed out to my first group playdate. When that didn’t go well I gave up. The host’s house seemed normal enough. Almost too normal. I don’t know why I was somehow expecting a yurt in a field with clotheslines and chickens. I wanted it to be more than just a little different, not just a rather large, new suburban two-story colonial with a large backyard. There were about six or seven moms there, and it was nice that they were all oohing and ahhing that my son was already walking at nine months, and refreshing to be around a group of women who were all freely breastfeeding their babies and preschoolers (without those stupid blankets over their heads).

But oh, the stares and gasps when I mentioned I bought disposable diapers for my son’s first month because I didn’t want to be overwhelmed with washing diapers on top of getting used to being a mom. You’d have thought I said I spent my free time pushing over baby penguins. The fact is, yes it would have been better for the environment if I’d used only cloth ever, but my own sanity had been tried enough. This nouveau-riche natural living movement is great and all if it means more cloth diapers, more breastfeeding, and more demand for local and organic goods; but if it also promotes a sense of judgment and moral superiority towards those who make different choices, then I’m not sure it’s being all it can be as a movement. Promoting breastfeeding is awesome, and really important, but if it means women feel like utter failures when they can’t, it’s gone too far. Plus I’m not sure all these well-to-do new-found environmentalists are really getting the point, or doing the best they could. But far be it from me to pass judgment.

One is silver, the other gold

College: the pinnacle of your social life. Yay for Girls Nights!

Many recent studies show having supportive friends and spending quality time with them (in-person) on a regular basis can improve your chance of living longer by 50 percent, keeps your brain sharper for longer, doubles your odds of surviving cancer, reduces your chance of catching colds, and reduces your stress level (thus lessening the ill effects of stress on your health). Not having close friends can be as detrimental to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day!

But as many other young couples out there know, finding fellow parent friends can be tricky. I read a blog post once that said making playdate friends was harder than finding a husband. I’d tend to agree. As someone who makes friends slowly anyway, adding a kid into the mix makes it nearly impossible. When my son was a few months old, and I was lonely, bored, and depressed sitting at home with him. I had just finished college - that amazing time of life when friends seem to be waiting around every corner, a time when I bonded with many strong female friends who have played key roles in my life. But now, all of a sudden, I only had one friend who also had a kid. My old friends just couldn't really relate to what I was going through, and I didn't really have time to hang out anymore.

In my new role as mom, I tried to reach out and make connections by attending a weekly women's morning church group. But every week, the ladies in the nursery had to come get me before the class was even halfway through because my son was screaming so much. I occasionally hung out with my one friend who had also a baby. I went back to work at the florist on an occasional basis and met another new friend there. The friends I’ve made through my most recent job are great, kids or no kids, and in moving we’ve been able to hang our with some college friends more often (but since they don’t have kids, it’s not as often as it could be). What is it that drives us to keep up with the friends we once had? Are old friends really better or is it just that hard to make new ones? Has social networking caused us to want to reconnect with old friends more than be out in the world actively seeking new connections?